When it came to patriotism, no American citizen was as determined to scream his allegiance to the States as much as Eddy. Originally from Nigeria, he had come to the USA, a wide-eyed, overzealous foreign student; a sponge, willing to soak up everything about the much disseminated and celebrated American culture. It didn’t take long before he dropped his birth-name in favor of an English one; one that lacked the clicks and clangs that came with stringing together native phrases to produce the esoteric rhythm of an African name. He learnt to pronounce his words the American way, dropping his t’s and inculcating as many Ebonics in his sentences as he possibly could because it made it easier for him to fit in with the African- American crowd. But sounding American wasn’t good enough; he needed something more, he needed to BE American, Literally. Money exchanged palms and a phony marriage was arranged. His wishes were granted as he became a full-fledged American citizen with the bragging rights that came along with his new classification. He basked in this new citizenship status, flaunting his dark blue passport to less-fortunate African friends. A month after he became an American citizen, he was pulled over by a cop for driving above the speed limit. The punishment for this offence is usually a slap-on-the-wrist sort of reprimand, or at worst, a ticket. Unfortunately for our hero, the confrontation became a little heated, climaxing when the officer threatened him with jail time. Eddy who had never read the Nigerian constitution, who only knew the first stanza of the Nigerian anthem and couldn’t name all thirty-six states in Nigeria without skipping either Taraba or Jigawa, was quick to tell the officer that taking him to jail would be violating the eighth amendment to the US constitution against cruel and unusual punishments. He raged and puffed, using biting phrases full of conviction like “as an American citizen…” and “…goes against the very principles this country was founded on”. The officer, a middle-aged conservative took one look at Eddy’s driver’s license, at the unfamiliar syllables that made up his name, words he couldn’t even dare attempt to pronounce, and shooting Eddy a cold piercing stare, he mechanically delivered these chilling words – “You may be a citizen, but you will never be an American”. Two months later, Ifesinachi Okadigbo aka Eddy broke the leasing contract he had with his apartment office, and relocated back to Nigeria, leaving behind not even a single item.

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